Honesty, Fear, Trust and Integrity
Honesty is the Best Policy is the most memorable article I’ve read in 2025. It summarizes what I’ve been living for years. And not only in professional environment, also in personal life.
Without honesty, there is no trust. Without trust, there is no respect. Without respect, there is no relationship. There may be an illusion of a relationship, but if you can’t rely on what is being said, you can’t rely on the person.
It hurts. It’s sad. It’s not fair. But it’s a fact.
I can acknowledge that it is sometimes difficult to be honest. That is because you are afraid.
You are afraid to admit the truth to yourself. When you say something out loud, the piece of information will start travelling on its own. You can’t hide it anymore. You will be confronted with it. It may be uncomfortable. You may need to reason. “I feel this is right” is a valid and sometimes the best and only reason.
You are afraid that you will hurt somebody’s feelings. Answer this: Do you respect a person that tells you the inconvenient truth? Do you respect a person that gives you excuses even if it’s obvious what is the truth? Tell people right away, it hurts much less than beating around the bush for eternity. They already know anyway. It’s much more respectable if they hear from you.
You are afraid that you will be shamed for the truth. You are not Galileo Galilei, the church won’t investigate you. The stakes are not that high. If you truly believe something, you should be proud of it. You may get challenged, be ready with some reasoning. And maybe you will learn something, so be ready to incorporate new information in your thinking.
You are ashamed of your truth. Why? It’s part of you. Are you ashamed of yourself? Why? There is some material for your psychotherapy right there. And maybe you might reconsider some of your actions in the future.
You are afraid that you may change your truth later. Yeah, that happens. English has words like “maybe”, “perhaps” and phrases like “I think I want” or “I’m not sure, but it feels right”. Go with them, the world does not operate in absolutes. It’s OK - and some would say even desired - to change an opinion when you learn new facts.
Do not be afraid. The world is not there to get you. The world wants to help you.
Being honest sparks a dialogue. Mutual sharing of information. Sometimes feelings. The later you start the dialogue, the more heated it may get as there is more to unpack.
If you are too far and the relationship is borked, there is still path to repair. It takes even more work and more honesty. You will most likely need to explain why you were afraid in the first place. But it is not lost. The world does not operate in absolutes.
Being honest to others builds your integrity. You don’t need to keep track of what you said to whom. You don’t create doubt and confusion because you are telling slightly different version of the story each time. You don’t risk that you will be perceived as a liar.
Being honest is liberating.
If you’re honest all the time, you don’t lose credit, trust and respect. Those are the currencies of relationships. You want to be rich in those. In both personal and professional setting.