Non-sense
I tried to write a post about lack of integrity in somebody’s messaging. Tons of confusion, chaos, contradictions. I couldn’t finish the post, because it made no sense.
People don’t make any sense. There is no reason to try to understand them. They don’t understand themselves. So they do stupid things. They hurt others. They hurt themselves.
It’s all choices. Sometimes we make a choice to not do something out of selfishness. Maybe we are afraid of something. Maybe we feel that it’s not worth it. Maybe we don’t see or understand the consequences. That is difficult.
Everybody makes choices. Every choice has a consequence. Everybody needs to live with consequences of their own choices. When other people are subject of those choices, we should pay a little more attention to the consequences.
This whole story would make sense only if I shared the exact details. I won’t. Not now. It’s not worth it. I’m making a choice to not humiliate, disrespect and degrade a person that is not me in this article. They were not able to meet my standards and expectations when it comes to communication about important topics that involved me. It’s not that crazy to expect someone to start a conversation if they fucked up, right?
And maybe I am overreacting (I am not, it was fucked up). Maybe they are just scared, don’t care or don’t understand what they caused (except they do, we talked about it). Maybe they don’t see the situation as seriously as I do.
In the end, this is just a stupid inconsequential relationship between two humans. Relationships (not only romantic or sexual, I mean any kind of connection) between humans start and end all the time. The ones that are kept alive are based on mutual interest, trust, respect, honesty and high communication standards. This one wasn’t. In hindsight, it was all just surface level bullshit. We both made choices that were not compatible with each other.
How can anybody be scared to talk about a topic they know the other person already knows about? Someone else did the hard work for you. And still, you don’t say anything. You just act like nothing happened.
And when I open the pandora’s box, you don’t apologize even though you admit you made a mistake. You just throw on some excuses.
I am sorry for you. And at some point, I will forgive you. And I will also make a choice to not have you in my life.