To You
I love you. And I don’t want to be with you at the same time. I thought love is about choosing to spend all my time with you. To be there for you. So you can be there for me.
I saw in you the pain that I have in myself. I thought I can help you navigate it, be there for you. I wanted to offer this space and my experience to you. So you can lean on me and feel safe. Because I thought that’s what you need, that’s what you want.
And you said no.
You chose someone else. Someone that I think will never understand you the way I do. In reality, I have no idea who they are. How they are. And what they are capable of. Maybe it’s the right choice for you. I actually believe, that you believe that it’s the right choice for you. Not me. And that hurts.
The fact that you don’t want what I think I have to offer. That you don’t want me. That hurts. Not being chosen hurts.
However, building a relationship and choosing a life partner based on “I see the same pain in you as I intimately know” is wrong. Unhealthy. Destructive. Spiralling. For both.
Wrong starting point. Good learning opportnity though.
I have learned so much about your communication style, about your values, about your approach to yourself and to others. About how much or how little empathy you feel towards me. About you not understanding me. We are not compatible. I don’t want to be with you, because I would be miserable. And I would make you miserable.
I still love you. But I don’t want to be with you. I can’t do that to myself. Thank you for not choosing me.